Do you ever wake up feeling like something is missing, like you’ve lost a part of yourself along the way? Maybe it’s a heavy feeling in your heart, a weight in your stomach or just a sense that something isn’t quite right. I’ve been there, especially since becoming a mom.
If you’re feeling like you’ve lost your spark, your sense of self, or your direction, I want to bring you along on my own journey to rediscovering who I am. This post is for you if you’ve been wanting to create real change – whether it’s starting a health journey, launching that blog or YouTube channel, asking for a promotion or simply feeling more like yourself again.
Today, I’m not just going to talk about mindset shifts. I’m going to share with you the exact strategy I’m using to reinvent myself, gain clarity, and take action. Because you deserve to go after what you want, and I want to help you get there with more ease and less stress.
The Feeling of Losing Yourself
Ever since I became a mom, I’ve found myself in a place where I felt like I lost part of who I was. I used to be so clear on what I wanted and how to get it, but after my son was born, I struggled with my identity. Motherhood is a beautiful gift, but it also comes with big changes, and somewhere along the way, I started to feel disconnected from the person I used to be.
Maybe you’re feeling this too, whether it’s because of a big life change like becoming a parent, a career transition or just getting caught up in the busyness of life. It’s easy to wake up one day and realize you don’t recognize the person in the mirror anymore.
But here’s the thing: You can rediscover yourself. You can find your spark again, and it starts with shifting how you see yourself.
The Key to Real Change: Shifting Your Identity
A big reason why many of us struggle to achieve our goal, —whether it’s getting healthier, feeling more confident or pursuing a dream, is that we haven’t shifted our identity. We wait for our circumstances to change before we change. We think, “Once I lose weight, then I’ll feel confident” or “Once I get that promotion, then I’ll believe I’m successful.”
But it doesn’t work that way. The key to lasting transformation is shifting how you see yourself first. When you change your identity, the way you act, think and feel changes – and your external reality begins to reflect that. Until now, you’ve probably been doing it the other way around: waiting for your life to change before you change how you see yourself. That’s why you might feel stuck in cycles of self-sabotage or frustration.
Your self-image, how you see yourself, shapes your reality. If you see yourself as someone who struggles, who can’t succeed or who isn’t confident, your actions will reflect that. But when you shift your self-image to align with the person you want to become, everything else falls into place.
The Gap Strategy: Bridging Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
During my health coaching certification, I learned about the Gap Strategy, a simple but powerful tool to help you close the gap between your current reality and your desired future. Here’s how it works:
Step 1: Identify Where You Are Now
The first step is to take an honest look at your current reality. This might feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for change. I recommend doing a life audit using a tool called the Circle of Life. This tool helps you assess different areas of your life – like your relationships, health, home environment, career and personal development – and rate your satisfaction in each area.
You can download a Circle of Life template online, or just ask yourself questions like:
- What does my life look like right now?
- How do I see myself? What’s my current self-image?
- In which areas of my life do I feel nourished and fulfilled?
- Where do I feel like something is missing or lacking?
Rate each area on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being completely fulfilled and 1 being completely unsatisfied. Once you’ve done this, connect the dots to form a visual of your current reality. It might not be a perfect circle, and that’s okay. The goal is not perfection, but awareness.
Step 2: Define Your Desired Future
Next, you need to get clear on what you want your ideal life to look like. This is where you start visualizing and setting goals for the future. Here are some journaling prompts to guide you:
- What does my dream life look like? What am I doing? Where am I?
- Who am I spending time with? What does my ideal day look like?
- How do I want to feel in my body, mind, and spirit?
- What projects, hobbies, or passions am I pursuing in my ideal life?
This step is all about clarity, the more detailed you are, the more motivated you’ll be to work toward your goals. Importantly, focus on the feelings you want to experience in your dream life. Whether it’s joy, confidence, freedom or ease, knowing how you want to feel can keep you motivated, even on tough days.
Step 3: Identify the Gap
Now it’s time to identify what needs to change. Look at the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. Ask yourself:
- How is my current life different from my dream life?
- What habits, thoughts, or behaviors are holding me back?
- What changes do I need to make to bridge that gap?
This step is all about awareness and action. Once you’ve identified the gap, you can start taking small, intentional steps toward your ideal reality.
Filling the Gap: Taking Action with Identity Shifts
To close the gap between where you are and where you want to be, it’s crucial to start acting like the person you want to become. This means aligning your habits, thoughts, and actions with your desired identity. Here’s how:
- Start Small: Don’t try to change everything at once. Focus on one area of your life that feels the most important right now. Maybe it’s your health, your self-care routine, or your career. Choose one priority and take small, consistent actions that reflect the identity you want to adopt.
- Embrace Evidence-Based Change: Each action you take is evidence that you are becoming the person you want to be. For example, if you want to be someone who feels energized and strong, start with small habits like going for a daily walk or preparing a nourishing meal. Every small step is a vote for your future self.
- Mindset Tools: To stay motivated, create tools that keep you inspired, like a vision board or a Pinterest board filled with images that reflect your dream life. You could also create a playlist of uplifting music that reminds you of your goals. Surround yourself with reminders of where you’re headed.
Conclusion: Every Step is a Vote for the Person You Want to Become
Transformation is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Every small action you take is a vote toward the person you’re becoming. As you work on shifting your identity, remember that you are building your future self, step by step.
Ready to start your own transformation? Download my free journaling prompts to kickstart your journey of self-discovery and identity shifting. These prompts will help you get clear on where you are, where you want to go, and how to fill that gap. GET IT HERE
Remember, you are not stuck. You are simply in the process of becoming who you are meant to be.
To help you dive deeper into this process, I’ve created a free document with additional journaling prompts to guide you through the Gap Strategy and the identity shifts we’ve discussed. These prompts are designed to help you reflect on your current reality, define your desired future and take actionable steps toward the life you want.
